The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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