I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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