Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
