after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
