I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
