You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
