Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
