my vag is so smooth its legendary
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
