He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
