i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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