Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
