We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We don't watch enough power rangers
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
