ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
