So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
