Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My life is pants optional.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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