his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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