i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
