It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
