I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
