one two three fourrrrnication!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
