There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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