I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
