The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
