the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
