He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
