Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
