Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
