i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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