i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
