Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
