He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
