at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
