what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
