He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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