What did we do last night that was yellow?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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