you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
