he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
