The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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