new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
