i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
