Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
