oh god the rape fog is back!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
