Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
