Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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