Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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