i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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