i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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