I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
