I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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