I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
