Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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