I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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