Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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